A bit of advice

You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep Re-Reading the last one

As simple as that.

How to love

How to love.


How does one let go of the pain from the past & love again? I'm so afraid of being hurt all over. But, in the back of my mind I tell myself just do it. Take the chance. Live a little & see if you can be happy once again.

You take your past love as a experience & take the good out of it & never make the same mistakes. Someone else can bring much more happiness and life out of you than you never imagined.

You will never know unless you let your guard down and take the chance :)

Home Sweet Home

What Home means to me...

A Place to walk into and kick off your shoes and run my toes in between my carpet. You know that feels good, hahaha

A place that i can go to, to have the biggest hugs ever!

A place to relax

Home is a place to make a meal & sit down and talk about your day

A place to be silly & make a big tent in the living room & camp out in it

Make your living room into a movie theater one night

A place to take the longest shower & bathy =)

Peace & quiet

HOME IS A HOME SO ENJOY IT! We grow old and we die, sad, but true. Or our children grow up and move, get married, or go off to college. So enjoy every minute of what you have and who you have for as long as you have it. I want everyone who steps foot into my door to fill relaxed and loved.

 Mi Casa Es Su Casa

Live & let learn

The past month ive been focusing on me. It feels really good. I feel at peace right now. I even love myself  a little more then i did a month ago. I feel blessed with whom i have in my life. I have shut out the people who dont matter. I have let go of people that have brought me down. And I only will meet half way to the ones that will give back. Im tired of people who take, take, take. I came accross a quote this morning....

"The older you get, the more you realize some people should be around your entire life & others should just make an appearance. "

That quote has stuck in my head all morning, is it crazy? But true. There are some that take such a huge effect on your life and you will never let go. But theres some who at one time made you smile, but are very much not deserving of your time and effort anymore because they are very selfish. Im done with selfish people. And people that wont go that extra mile that deserve it.

HELLO to the next Chapter of my life!

There comes a point in your life when you say  I JUST DONT GIVE A FUCK Let go and live life to the fullest. No regrets just live life and experience everything you didnt when you didnt have the chance before. You think you wont? Well, i guarantee at some point in your life, you will. I didnt think i would, i reached that point and said those very words and had the time of my life. Until something snaps you back into reality. One heart wrenching moment when you realize, what the fuck am i doing?  Have i lost control of myself? And am i living a life that is going slowly in a downward spiral? Am i really all alone in this big big world? And suddenly i felt like everything was caving in. I have loved ones that need me and to be there for them. I need to gain much more respect for myself and LOVE ME. I lost myself for a moment but now i am focusing on who i am and what i want. I am riding solo these days but thankful for who i have in my life. And i especially need to be head strong for my girls. They are my life. I need to be mentally there for them. I want them to see me as a strong, loving, respectful, comforting person, mother, someone who they can always come to and talk to with open arms. I realize i can live life to the fullest but can do and see it on a different level. A respectable level. I was stuffing pain & heartache. Trying to gain some kind of love and kindness from the outside world. But all and all there is no love out there. None at all. It is very cold and selfish. You reach that point when you say IM DONE Its a close to one chapter and the beginning of the next with a whole new outlook.

The day came & went and no reports of anything happening due to what that man calls the ...Rapture. Just proves that god only knows the day and the time that Armageddon will start. No man does. Enjoy your day peoples :) As for me i can smell my brewed coffee and am gonna enjoy it while sitting in my bed while feeling the cool breeze come threw my window.

Enjoy!

In the news today

 

The Associated Press The sun sets over the horizon near Changchun in northeastern China's Jilin province. Across the globe, followers of a California preacher's long-publicized message that Judgment Day would arrive Saturday turned to the Bible, the book they believe predicts Earth's destruction on May 21.

OAKLAND, Calif. -- Some shut themselves inside to pray for mercy as they waited for the world's end. 

Others met for tearful last lunches with their children, and prepared to leave behind homes and pets as they were swept up to heaven. 

And across the globe, followers of a California preacher's long-publicized message that Judgment Day would arrive Saturday turned to the Bible, the book they believe predicts the beginning of Earth's destruction on May 21. 

The doomsday message has been sent far and wide via broadcasts and web sites by Harold Camping, an 89-year-old retired civil engineer who has built a multi-million-dollar nonprofit ministry based on his apocalyptic prediction. 

After spending months traveling the country to put up Judgment Day billboards and hand out Bible tracts, Camping follower Michael Garcia planned to spend Friday evening with his family at home in Alameda, near the Christian media empire's Oakland headquarters. 

They believe it will likely start as it becomes 6 p.m. in the world's various time zones. 

"We know the end will begin in New Zealand and will follow the sun and roll on from there," said Garcia, a 39-year-old father of six. "That's why God raised up all the technology and the satellites so everyone can see it happen at the same time." 

The Internet was alive with reaction in the hours past 6 p.m. Saturday in New Zealand. 

"Harold Camping's 21st May Doomsday prediction fails; No earthquake in New Zealand," read one posting on Twitter. 

"If this whole end-of-the-world thingy is still going on ... it's already past 6.00 in New Zealand and the world hasn't ended," said another. 

Camping's radio stations, TV channels, satellite broadcasts and website are controlled from a humble building on the road to the Oakland International Airport, sandwiched between an auto shop and a palm reader. Family Radio International's message has been broadcast in 61 languages. 

Camping, however, will be awaiting Jesus Christ's return for the second time. He said his earlier apocalyptic prediction in 1994 didn't come true because of a mathematical error. 

"I'm not embarrassed about it. It was just the fact that it was premature," he told The Associated Press last month. But this time, he said, "there is...no possibility that it will not happen." 

Skeptics are planning Rapture-themed parties to celebrate what hosts expect will be the failure of the world to come to an end. 

Bars and restaurants from Melbourne, Australia to the Florida Keys advertised bashes. 

In Oakland, atheists planned a gathering at a local Masonic temple to include group discussions on "The Great Success of Past Apocalypses," followed by dinner and music. 

Camping and his followers believe the beginning of the end will come on May 21, exactly 7,000 years since the flood in the biblical story of Noah's Ark. 

Some 200 million people will be saved, Camping preaches, and those left behind will die in earthquakes, plagues, and other calamities until Earth is consumed by a fireball on October 21. 

In the Philippines, a big billboard of Family Radio ministry in Manila warned of Judgment Day. Earlier this month, group members there distributed leaflets to motorists and carried placards warning of the end of the world. 

Christian leaders from across the spectrum have widely dismissed the prophecy, but one local church is concerned that Camping's followers could slip into a deep depression come Sunday. 

Pastor Jacob Denys of Milpitas-based Calvary Bible Church plans to wait outside the nonprofit's headquarters on Saturday afternoon, hoping to counsel believers who may be disillusioned if the Rapture does not occur. 

"The cold, hard reality is going to hit them that they did this, and it was false and they basically emptied out everything to follow a false teacher," he said. "We're not all about doom and gloom. Our message is a message of salvation and of hope." 

On Friday afternoon, a small group of eccentrics, gawkers and media opportunists convened outside Family Radio's closed office building. A sign posted on the front door said "SORRY WE MISSED YOU!" 

As May 21 drew nearer, followers say donations grew, allowing Family Radio to spend millions of dollars on more than 5,000 billboards and 20 RVs plastered with the doomsday message. In 2009, the nonprofit reported in IRS filings that it received $18.3 million in donations, and had assets of more than $104 million, including $34 million in stocks or other publicly traded securities. 

Marie Exley, who helped put up apocalypse-themed billboards in Israel, Jordan, Lebanon and Iraq, said the money helped the nonprofit save as many souls as possible. She said she and her husband, mother and brother planned to stay glued to the television Friday night in Bozeman, Montana for news of an earthquake in New Zealand. 

Camping recommended this week that followers surround themselves by their loved ones and not meet publicly, Exley said. 

"It's an emotional time and we're kind of nervous and scared about how things will pan out as to who will be here and who will go to heaven," she said. "I'll probably be scared in the fog of it, and crying, because we don't know who is saved and who is not." 

Some people wanted to make sure their pets receive good treatment, no matter what happens. 

Sharon Moss, who founded AfterTheRapturePetCare.com to provide post-apocalypse animal care, said a new wave of customers has paid $10 to sign up in the last few weeks. 

"A lot of people have said you should be out there saving souls not saving pets but my heart says 'why can't you do both?'" said Moss, who identifies herself as Protestant.

– The Associated Press

Related topics: end of days, harold camping, judgment day, may 21

Reer Reer

Two peas in a pod. :) We met eachother when we were in the 4th grade. Shes my PIC my WIFEY my BFF my SISTER from another mother. We know eachothers thoughts before we speak and sense eachothers sorrows and happiness before we even call eachother. We have code words like REER REER and others ;) We even order the same Value Menu at Mc D's...funny story... after not seeing eachother for awhile we decided to meet up and as we ordered, her at one counter and i at the other, we paid for our food. And as we were waiting we asked eachother what did you order? We both said and then we couldnt stop laughing. We laughed so hard, i guess it was 'a moment' LOL Is that wierd?  We were called Sharannon in grade school. And we used to always hang out at eachothers houses after school doing cheers in our front yards or just hanging out as us kids do. There was a time for a few years after High School that we lost touch when i moved to Madera from Los Banos but i found her little ass hahaha on Myspace threw a random person ive never met before. I got on there one night cause i had been wondering about her & messaged a girl named Monica. I said, i dont know if you know her but i noticed we went to the same High School back then and graduated the same year and wondered if she new of Shannon? And Monica said, yes! I see her everyday when i pick up my child from school! I said OMG can you please let her know i have been thinking of her and want to get in touch with her? She gave shannon the message that day, and shannon made a Myspace and we been in touch once again! =) We talk to eachother every morning atleast for a hour as she drinks her coffee & i drink my tea. I love her to death! And she has never left my side & mine hers threw the good times and bad. I heart her!!!! My BFF!!

BFF's Random conversation LMAO

Shannon: My god sharon...the tanning guy has on a tight white body shak tank top on...8-P ....my heart skipped like 2 beats...he is so fucking yummy...his arms are AHHHH

Me: LOLOL eye candy ;) take a pic!

Shannon: I couldnt :( to many guys were in there...but O M G..his wife is lucky

Me: LOL

Shannon: I just wanna touch his arms once

Me: Accidentally stumble and he will brace your fall ;)

Shannon: Not a bad idea! I will have to try that next time

Me: LOL

Prince

I have been wanting to see Prince since i was a little kid! Since Purple Rain came out. LOL I had his poster and everything. Now i get the priveledge of going to see him in concert!!! Yee!!! My sis surprised me with a ticket this past Sat! I was so excited i couldnt sit still for a hour. Thank you sis for getting our tickets!!! That was a awesome surprise. I guess it was a sign when i downloaded one of his ringtones to my cell phone only a week ago hee hee I made my own playlist and i hope he sings every one of these.....fingers crossed :) :)

• 1999
• Lets go Crazy
• Little Red Corvette
• 7
• Sign O the Temples
• Alphabet St.
• Pop Life
• Diamonds & Pearls
• I wanna be your Lover
• Erotic City
• The Beautiful Ones
• Rasberry Beret
• Kiss
• Cream
• Purple Rain

I Cant wait....Happy Happy Joy Joy!!! Sooo happy to share this moment with my sis & my brother in-law =)

Lame

Blogging from the bath is fabulous. Don't mind me. A glass of wine is and the sound of water is all i need at this moment. Nothing more. My days of the past few years have been filled with disappointments here and there. The only positive things in my life are my loved ones. The people on the outside suck. They proved it. I open myself up and what do I get is failure. Life is at highs, sometimes then lows. Why does life have so many lows? I should be settled and be fulfilled at this age right? No no 30 and fabulous. I enjoy my time to all myself but I do honestly miss the holding hands and sweetness of affection. It will all happen again. Yes I do have alot of healing to do but, it's been 3 years people. I desire the friendship and love everyone else has. And yes I enjoy being alone to cause I don't like to answer to anyone, in other words being independent. Just when I thought just maby, it's not...once again at a loss for words.

'the day she got broke up with a post-it'

Geeeezzz....

No class at all.

When it's most important

You may be known for your social charm, and this usually works in your favor. However, you must exercise self-restraint now or your exuberant style might offend someone important. But rather than withdrawling completely, try toning down your enthusiasm just a touch. Keep in mind that self-discipline doesn't mean you have to remain silent; it's about saying the right thing succinctly. It's crucial to know how much to say and when to stop talking.

Is wondering how one of my blogs is missing??? Strange....i even had a comment on it. Just to let my followers know once i post a blog i dont delete. Sorry about that! This is no bueno!!! :-/

Sun Shiney Day...

My day started off  happy :)

Did yours?

Its funny how something could happen in your life, and it can be the ultimate eye~opener. No joke. It can happen. My life feels calm at the moment. And thats the way i wanna keep it.

From one day to the next

Im so irritated with everything right now. I hate people who talk big and mighty, when really they should be looking at themeselves. Its funny how people choose to be hush hush and quiet when theyve been found in the wrong but pass judgement on others when there life is shitty as ever. Im just in a ugly mood and somethings gotta change. And all in all im the only one that can make any changes. I may not make much sense but, i dont owe anyone a exclamation....what-so-ever.

Giddy & smiling
Its a beautiful day.
Life can be sweet.

I thought all desires of happiness
were gone.
But, it still does exist.

My moms cousin Cabrina took these pictures while she was serving our country in Iraq a few years back. These pictures are amazing. The second photo she was caught in a major sandstorm.... Id be scared out of my mind. But she caught this image! Once again amazing!

Bright & sunny day

Its such a nice day today. I think i might just go outside and play :) 75 degrees to be exact! Niccce! Its a bit breezy so i put my pink & white cap on. Love days like this, shorts, a tank & flip flops. I got a few arrons to run and may take a drive out to the lake to enjoy the water. Have a wonderful day peeps!

Live in the moment

Everybody has a past, dont fear mine.

Great so far!

My night tonight...i started to make some dinner. On the menu- tacos, spanish rice, & beans. Well got started, and realized i didnt have any cheese! So at 730 at night had to head to the store. At first i thought..Ugh but then realized i was out of Sangria. Well it gave me reason even more so to go to the store. HA! My favorite. Came home, and finished up dinner. Cleaned kitchen swept the floor & now im enjoying my glass of Sangria. :) Wishing i was on a date.....wahahahaha Dreaming....all the dreaming....itll happen when its time. Im in no rush. Enjoying making new friends and great conversation. Something i havnt had till now & it feels FABULOUS!! Cheers! And cheers to new friends!! ;)

Ye to el Kanye....Im ready for a drinky drink Cran & Vodka night CHEERS!

And I always find, yeah, I always find
somethin wrong
You been puttin up wit my shit just way to
long
I'm so gifted at findin what I dont like the
most
So I think it's time for us to have a toast

Let's have a toast for the douchebags,
Let's have a toast for the assholes,
Let's have a toast for the scumbags,
Every one of them that I know
Let's have a toast for the jerkoffs,
That'll never take work off
Baby, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can

It is what it is

Im feeling so overwhelmed today. Its ridiculous. All i can do is take a deep breathe and focus on one thing at the moment. Im one person feeling like im being pulled in so many directions. I wish i was on a beach all alone just me and the sound of the waves crashing against the floor. Listening to the sound of the wooshing sand moving up and down from the force of the waves. Closing my eyes just listening to the sounds. Its soothing to the soul just the ocean and i.

If you wanna make sharona very happy...walk in her door with one of her favorites!

Mmmm GOOD! ;)

My favorite spot in Napa CA.





My mom & i

How time has flown by so fast.
It seems as if it were just yesturday, that i was so little
& could fit right in your lap.

You are my favorite girl.
Always & always...
Forever in my heart.

I love you mom.
Always & always...
Forever in my heart.

I cherish every moment as if it were our last.
I never take advantage of the moments in our past.
I will always cherish you in my heart.

Always & always....forever in my heart.

5 experiances in my life that has made me , ME

1.  When i was 6 years old i was in a car accident. Was thrown 30 ft in the air. Nearly died. A drunk driver had hit me, he was the school janitor btw, who had a drink on his break. Changed my life forever as a kid. I was in a coma for a number of days. I couldnt walk, and had to do physical therapy for weeks. It was such a tragic experiance that every oct of every year i cant help but think of that day. I dont remember all the details just in little flashbacks or faint memories. Bits and pieces i should say. I remember being in the hospital and going threw alot of test. I remember laying on a table and then laying in a bed, hearing my mom and grandmas voice. I couldnt speak. I remember leaving the hospital and everyone clapping as i left. I went home and all of my friends had signed a little dog with a little writing on it, wishing me to 'Get Well Soon'.  I have that little doggy to this very day. I keep in touch with some of my friends from San Anselmo school. Those i keep dear to my heart. So, because of my car accident i had to be on lots of medications for a long time since my spleen had been removed. I had the chances of catching sickness real easy. I did alot of home schooling but was finally able to go back to school by the age of 9. It was hard for me to adjust to a regular school setting. But i did it. :) To this very day i have the scars on my body to remind me of that horrific day. Its ok though, because i survived it. And thats all that matters...
2. I married my high school sweet-heart. We were both very young. I was only 21. At the time i had just got my hair license and he was a beginner teacher. We had our whole life ahead of us. We had goals and we were in love and alive. My precious moments with him was taking long drives to the beach. No specific destination, just drive the open road. We drove Hwy 1 a few times and would stop and take pictures of us smiling and enjoying the fresh air and ocean. I still have all my pictures. We would listen to the Smiths, Elvis, and Bob Dylan. I always enjoyed the Rolling Stones & the Cowboy Junkies. We made precious memories and i will always cherish them. We were married for 13 years.
3. Being a single mom. Hard work period. Im proud, im tired, i have a lack of sleep. But i wouldnt change it for anything in the world. I want to keep them safe always. Being a mom can be challenging at times and overwhelming. But i wouldnt change it for anything in the world. I will always be by there side. I will never leave them. I am so thankful i have 2 beautiful girls that will grow up together and have eachother forever.
4. Playing scrabble with a famous musician. =) He changed my life in a way that he will never know. At the time i was going threw such a crappy time in my life. And who would of known??? Playing Words With Friends i would actually make a friend hahaha. Hes a famous fiddler who travels with amazing Artists. He has been on Country Music Awards, Music videos and makes music for documentaries. Its cool cause when he travels he has messaged me of all the pretty things he sees along the way. Even while hes on stage rehearsing he has messaged me. At first i was like, is this guy for real? But i started following him on Twitter and matching all our conversations up and looking things up on You Tube and it all added up. Hes my number 4 cause he gave me hope that i still got it. Haha even if im not married, i have hope there is someone out there for me. Someone to talk to and share things with. Thank you ****! I bet your wondering what his name is?
5. It may sound odd to you but i had the experiance of going Wine tasting all by myself. =) It was the most powerful experiance! I hopped in my car and left my moms cause i wanted to buy a bottle of Carlos Santana Champagne to share with my friend. So i went and i walked in and started making conversation with a man that worked there. He offered me a glass of champagne, i said, 'sure' I drank and walked out. I walked over to the vineyard and awed at the site of it. I was all alone in this big world. A girl, who had just drank a glass of champagne, and was looking out at one of the most beautiful views ive ever seen.