Resentment and opposition.
Procrastination and intentional mistakes in response to others demands.
Cynical, or hostile attitude.
Frequent complaints about feeling underappreciated or cheated.
All I can say is that I remember him looking down at me yelling as I was looking upwards. The hatred in his eyes and the expression on his face. I was scared. Over the years I let a lot go with the way he spoke to me and ran to his mom for some guidance and explanation. She would say it was due to his childhood and I tried to feel a compassion and felt like I needed to help him in some sort of way. But the emotional abuse got worse and worse. So bad id cry myself to sleep at night and sleep alone. Or I would go sleep with my daughter in the middle of the night. I felt so alone but knew I had her to want and need me if she woke. Its strange because I think back of our first few years together and It was perfect. We listened to music would take road trips. I felt safe and loved.
Over time, I'm not sure if he just got more and more comfortable and felt it was ok to start with the mental abuse. I seen it from the way he spoke to his mother or sister but never in my life I thought it would happen to me. It all started in doses. Yes doses. Until it got to the point where he would scream, yell, punch a wall and walk out for days at a time. It was horrible the way I lived. I didn't tell anyone for a whole year that I was actually living alone with 2 young children in a home. He would leave for days at a time. Come home. Get clothes. Then leave again. I still get a lump in my throat just thinking about it.
I finally left the man that I had loved all those years. And till this day, I still fight anxiety in my soul.
