HELLO to the next Chapter of my life!

There comes a point in your life when you say  I JUST DONT GIVE A FUCK Let go and live life to the fullest. No regrets just live life and experience everything you didnt when you didnt have the chance before. You think you wont? Well, i guarantee at some point in your life, you will. I didnt think i would, i reached that point and said those very words and had the time of my life. Until something snaps you back into reality. One heart wrenching moment when you realize, what the fuck am i doing?  Have i lost control of myself? And am i living a life that is going slowly in a downward spiral? Am i really all alone in this big big world? And suddenly i felt like everything was caving in. I have loved ones that need me and to be there for them. I need to gain much more respect for myself and LOVE ME. I lost myself for a moment but now i am focusing on who i am and what i want. I am riding solo these days but thankful for who i have in my life. And i especially need to be head strong for my girls. They are my life. I need to be mentally there for them. I want them to see me as a strong, loving, respectful, comforting person, mother, someone who they can always come to and talk to with open arms. I realize i can live life to the fullest but can do and see it on a different level. A respectable level. I was stuffing pain & heartache. Trying to gain some kind of love and kindness from the outside world. But all and all there is no love out there. None at all. It is very cold and selfish. You reach that point when you say IM DONE Its a close to one chapter and the beginning of the next with a whole new outlook.