From here forward im going to be more positive and a better example.

Monterey CA

A beautiful day out in California :)

December 24 2016 Midnight Christmas

Christmas was ever so memorable this year. At the strike of midnight my aunt Valerie let all of us know there was 1 more special gift for all of us awaiting outside. She let us know that this surprise would be in memory of my dad and papa ( my grandpa ) We were all in suspense for almost 1 hour. She told us that this present would be outdoors and to put our beanies on and have our cameras ready. And it would make my mom tear up. We all wondered and guessed is it Santa coming on a sled? A new car? A trip to Italy? My dads ashes? Uncle rick surprising us? Gram?? All these questions and suspense were killing us. What felt like a hour was in reality 30 minutes. We all poured champagne and downed it into Christmas morning 12AM it was time to go outside. Here was our sweet sweet surprise....

We each got an individual lantern that once you light it you say a silent prayer or make a wish in remembrance of a loved one who has passed away. It was an amazing feeling of closure and bonding of love life and happiness all in one. Here are some pictures of the special moment we all shared together that night.

 I was able to say goodbye to my dad that night. A feeling of closure. 

I said my silent prayer, and let you drift off into the beautiful crisp sky. With thoughts of you.. how much love joy and heartache you brought me growing up leading into my adult years. I remembered the laughter and tears and your laugh your smile ohhh your contagious laugh that would make others laugh!! How much i miss your voice dad!! The times youd call me drunk off your ass.. leading up to that horrific morning call when Rena called to tell me you had just died a hour ago. With all those thoughts and memories i released you into the Cold crisp air. 

I love you pops. Forever in our hearts and i will find peace in memories of you.

The best highlight of 2016 was my grandma showing up at my doorstep after moving to Idaho. It was a surprise ill never forget! Missing her so much these days. She was my closest person to run too when i needed to escape and relax. Heres a few pictures of us!! :) I love her so much!!

Being Silly wearing my grams Hair piece lol

Hes just not that into you

Ladies, if you have to ask a man, So what are we? Or, Where is this relationship going? The answer is NOWHERE.  Men by nature are hunters and go for what they want. If he wanted you to be his wife, he would have proposed. If he wanted you to be his lady, he would of asked you. Men go hard for what they truly want. If he is not going hard for you, you are NOT what he wants.

Feels good to let out unwanted emotions and feelings

Now its time to be a savage;)

My sweet daughter came up to me and said she wanted to be a massage therapist. And then said she wanted to be a teacher, a hair dresser a gymnast. She kept going on and on with a huge smile and look of excitement on her little face. I said you can be whatever you want to be baby girl. :) And gave her a great big hug.

Its amazing how when we were young we had all these hopes and dreams of what and who we want to become. As a kid we played make believe, we wanted to be a pilot or nurse or someone who worked on trains. My baby girl made me think of purpose in life. What is my purpose? Am i truly living the life that i want? Will i ever feel complete? Where do i want to be 5 years from now? If i die what will people say about me? Will i have made any difference in there life?

When you cant sleep at night because of worry. Then when you finally sleep you wake due to a nightmare. The struggle..I was trying to protect my girls from a storm. We were somehow stuck on a a round flat rock. If we walked away to far we would fall into a black hole. It was stormy and the waves kept pushing us. This ship was headed right towards us and miraculously it stirred its way around us and dropped into the black hole. I then covered my kids up with blankets to keep warm. And woke up because i looked out the window and realized we were not safe just yet.



 Missing you. Needing you.

Those days when we would shoot a cruise get food and listen to oldies with the windows down...I

Miss nights like that.  Searching for the one i adore...yes i am.

The day he took that dive in and said it tasted yummy.

Mmmm

Tasty...

Warm....

Enjoy i said. I will give it to you more often:)

Maby a little something on the side. Make it even more flavorful? A 3rd topping?

He couldn't resist. He kept coming back for more. 

Yes ..Yes...he loved the way i served it to him.

Made my heart warm to see his handsome face light up. All i want is to make you happy.

 Chorizo&Eggs

Your beautiful Your loved

In case no one 
told you today:

Your beautiful. Your loved.

Your needed. Your alive for a reason.

Your stronger than you think.

Your going to get threw this.

Im glad your alive.

Dont give up.

To you

She once was a bird who could fly anywhere she wanted. She was free. She was pure. She was happy. Papa bird said you can fly anywhere you want to in this whole wide world. Your going to be the greatest flyer this world will have ever seen.

 She did fly off one day. And landed in the wild.  She saw beautiful things. She saw very lovely things. She was happy. She felt bold and colorful. She was the prettiest bird you have ever seen. Papa bird told her shed be great and she was. Confident lovely bird. She saw and flew over gorgeous waters you can ever see. So blue you can see the bottom of the ocean. Many oceans she saw. Beautiful big giant trees and forests.

She made her way home one day to tell papa bird all about it. The look on his face. He was so proud of her.

Integrity

Integrity is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles. It means doing the right thing even when no one is looking. Be true to yourself and do nothing that dishonors you. Stop and examine your life for a minute. Integrity is a word we here often. But have you ever just stopped,  focused, and pondered over what it means to you? I caught myself a few days ago sitting at my work desk thinking it over and over in my head. Do i display Integrity even when no on is looking? Integrity can take years to achieve but seconds to lose. A person who has integrity values family, friends, and coworkers. Honesty and trust are the heartbeat of it all. 

"Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living life with integrity."- W.Clement Stone

Ways to display Everyday Integrity:

• Never betray a friends trust
• Keep your promises
• Remain true to your partner
• Show respect to your coworkers
• Be responsible
• Own up to your mistakes
• Return money that you noticed someone dropping
• Volunteer not once but over and over again

We want to display integrity in all aspects of life. Be trustworthy, dependable, loyal people.

Heartbreak

"One of the hardest things you will ever have to do, my dear, is to grieve the loss of a person who is still alive." -My father's advice

" Sleeping alone is a waste of my sexual talent "

haha i love that quote....but for real... its time to seek a full-time boyfriend. :) I crave one on one time. Dinner. Adventure. Dating. To feel beautiful in public. To have conversation. Hold hands and walk..explore. Smile and laugh. Long drives. Kisses. A walk to remember. To share and look at something beautiful together. I miss affection. Something that i desire...

Where are you Mr soulmate I know your out there

You will search for me in another person. I promise.

That you will never find.

A momma dessert made with love

1 package of Oreos crushed

8oz Cool Whip

1 pckg of cream cheese

Large box of instant Vanilla Pudding

3 Cups of Milk

We decorated this for fun the #AmericanFlag

((Yummy))

For Holloweenie you can decorate with gummy worms.. to come out of the cake as a topping ;)

A fun addition.

Dirt Cake.

Youre the type of woman a man should never let go of
Youre the type of woman men regret losing
Youre unique
Youre beautiful
Choose someone who knows this...
never settle for less.

Im not crying because of you;

 your not worth it. 

Im crying because my delusion of who you were was shattered by the truth of who you are.

-Steve Maroboli

Medical Assisting paper at its finest

ICD-10-CM

The ICD-10 is used to code and classify mortality data from death certificates. Having to replace ICD-9 for this purpose as of January 1, 1999. ICD-10-CM is planned as the replacement for ICD-9-CM, volumes 1 and 2. The international calssification of diseases, Tenth revised, ICD-10-CM, is a revision to the ICD-9-CM used by physician and other health care providers to cod and classify disease. Symptoms as well as procedures within the hospital setting.  

The World Health Organization (WHO), has authorized the development of an adaptation of ICD-10 for using it in the United States for U.S. government purposes. The WHO uses alphamumeric codes to identify health diseases and other health care problems.  As agreed, any modifications to the ICD-10 must conform to WHO conventions for the ICD. ICD-10-CM was developed following a thorough evaluation by a Technical Advisory Panel and extensive additional consultation with clinical coders, physician groups and others to assure clinical accuracy.  Specific improvements include: the addition of information relevant to ambulatory and managed care encounters, expanded injury codes and the creation of combination diagnosis as well as symptom codes to reduce the number of codes needed to  describe a condition as well as the addition of sixth and seventh characters. Incorporation of common 4th and 5th digit subclassifications, laterality, and greater specificity in code assignment. The new structure will allow further expansion with ICD-9-CM.

The ICD-10-CM revision includes 68,000 diagnostic codes in comparison to 13,000 on the ICD-9-CM. This includes twice as many catagories and classifications.  Physicians and nurses need to understand and be specific in documenting patient diagnosis and treatments to support the use of ICD-10 codes in claims.  IT leaders help support ones in educating the staff for office transition from the ICD-9 to the ICD-10-CM. In making the transition to the ICD-10 there are four parts that one must follow as stated from the http://searchhealthit.techtarget.com/news/1280099287/Educating-physicians-on-ICD-10-changes-eases-transition

• Gathering data on all processes and policies that involve ICD codes, so it has an inventory of all the items that will require change.
• Mapping ICD-9 to ICD-10.
• Changing over to ICD-10, which includes pilot testing with providers and vendors before go-live.
• Implementing a monitoring and maintenance process, based on new guidance and real-world experience using ICD-10 codes.

Similar to ICD-9-CM, there is no national requirement for mandatory ICD-10-CM  for external cause code reporting. Unless you are subject to a State-based external cause code reporting to mandate on these codes are required by a particular payer, you are not required to report ICD-10-CM codes, for External Causes of Morbidity.

Work Cited

http://www.cms.gov/Medicare/Coding/ICD10/downloads/ICD-10Overview.pdf

Department of Health and Human Services Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/icd/icd10cm.htm

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ICD-10_Clinical_Modification

Wikipedia

That feeling when your heart feels as if its running out of love.

#Drained #Lonely... Needs more adventure. Needs more period.

A Classic Read

Stumbled across a second hand bookstore today and found myself a Classic! Ive been wanting this book for awhile now. 

Words that dont mean a thing

Shall we just sit here and stare out into the ocean? Can i have a moment of your time and attention :) You glance over and take my hand. Your eyes...voice. Everything is perfect. Respectful. My fortune said "Your dearest wish will Come true" 

Well baby..Your my dream come true.

I always thought there was 

something romantic about

 fighting for someone.

About winning them back, 

Eventual happiness.

But as i sit here with stones in my chests, 

Where hope used to lie, 

I have come to the realization 

that there is nothing lovely

about having to continuously

convince someone 

to love you.

As i sit here sipping my morning coffee. I learn to appreciate everything i have. I may not have a fancy car...a house a dog a boyfriend. But what i can show forth is the strength ive had to endure threw some challenges in my life. Ive learned to be humble and patient. Kind. loving. And to treat others the way you would want to be treated. This world is so hectic and people tend to take advantage and brag. Be humble. Be a GREAT example. Be a GREAT mom. Get up and be the BEST you can be.  Exercise. Eat drink healthy. Form healthy relationships. Set goals. And learn to cut people off who don't respect or value you. The ones that drain you. This is your life...You are worthy of happiness. Love. And Adventure.

Give her multiple mindgasms by going down on her thoughts.

-Horacio Jones

Good Morning;)

2011

He knew how he took my coffee.

That he did know. He was someone who knew what a lady liked. He was respectful. Smart. Smiled all the time. I could tell because of the fine lines at the outer parts of his eyes. There's no doubt when we would go to dinner other women would glance at first sight. It did not even matter because he knew how to treat a women and treat her like he was all hell lucky to have her by his side. He was a charming man.

They would take long drives. Speak of the past and what each other liked/disliked as well as there goals. He listened and got to know her a little more each time. We would laugh and listen to our favorite music on road trips. Snapped pictures of each other on outings. They enjoyed each others company. It was never a dull moment. And in our own words always a good time & great memories.

Still great friends. Havnt seen him in person since 2012. Yet I still follow his many adventures :) Just a moment in time about 2 people that wondered what it would of been like to do things together. We laughed and smiled that whole year :)

I miss you dad.. 

You protected me when i was small. You tried to protect my heart. You never wanted to see your baby girl hurt.. i miss you. I miss the men in my life. The ones who ment the most. The ones who never wanted to cause me any pain.  You lived a hard life. I understand now why..

You lost the love of your life. I get it now. You loved mom so much. 

I miss you...

I want you back. Start life all over again. I don't like having a broken heart dad. You always tried to protect me. Now i feel as if im drowning. 

Be my angel.

RIP Sept 16 1954 - Dec 13 2015

The Unspoken

One day he will see how much she ment to him.
He took her for granted.
She smiles. She cries. She lets out a deep sigh.
She has learned when to take a step back. She never was this way before.
She loves him. There's a part of her that always will.
Wishing. Hoping. A season passes. Another holiday passes. He's no where in sight.

Shes guarded.
She never opens up...
haha...He must think shes a complete bust. Shes a smart women. How would he know?
He never gave her a chance.

Your a memory now.
Your dead to her.
She knows her worth. Shes taking her last breathe.

If you value

your time, 

don't spend 

it selling 

yourself to 

someone

like "proving

your worth"

 Horacio Jones

The taboo of depression.

I took a class once on Mental Health and my instructor showed us this Ted Talks video on You Tube of Bjork The taboo of depression. The subject matter has to do with suicide. A very sensitive subject. I have turned to this video so many times because she is an example of inner strength. Depression is a illness not a choice. Its nothing to be ashamed of.  Its ok to talk about your feelings and never hide them. Seek help. Its ok to take the time to fix not only our physical well being but lets take the time to fix our souls. 

Little hope with no meaning at all

He was someone who wanted to give her everything.

But she did him wrong. The end.

Better not Bitter

And then all of a sudden 

She changed.

She came back a completely different person

With a new mindset, a new outlook,

A new soul

The girl that once cared way to much

About everyone and everything

No longer cared at all

Players only love you when they're playing

Dreams

Now here you go again

You say you want your freedom

Well, who am i to keep you down?

It's only right that you should

Play the way you feel it

But listen closely to the sound of your lonliness

Like a heartbeat drives you mad

In the stillness of remembering what you had

And what you lost....

And what you had...

And what you lost

Thunder only happens when it's raining

Players only love you when they're playing

Say...women...they will come and they will go

When the rain washes you clean...you'll know, you'll know

Now here i go again, I see the crystal visions

I keep my visions to myself, 

Its only me

Who wants to wrap you around your dreams and...

Have you any dreams you'd like to sell?

Dreams of lonliness...

Like a heartbeat ...drives you mad...

In the stillness of remembering what you had...

And what you lost...

And what you had...

And what you lost

                                                                                                         Fleetwood Mac

Great minds think alike

Here i am sitting. Reflecting. Its funny how one decision made, has ultimatley layed the ground work and landed me right where i am now. I think back and ask myself why didn't i move to Fresno with my pops? Why didnt i just go?? I had 4 goals of interest. One, to become a Cosmetologist, a Lawyer,  a Psychologist or a Nutritionist. I then made the decision to become a hairdresser because it was the fastest way to get a job. Get on my own.  So much ran threw my mind at 17. And i really didn't have much time cause my parents decided to divorce sell the house and move into different towns. Go seperate ways. I fill like i had no choice but to hustle. I battled with the thoughts of all the schooling requiring so much time and energy. Now i wish that if i could go back i would take that leap and would have moved forward to become a psychologist and take that time out..... OHHHH Fucking well!..... It seems like since then my whole life has been somewhat of a struggle due to making that one decision.  Deep down i know i would of been a damn good psychologist if i would of pushed myself.

There was someone who i looked up to back then that has left a mark on me..Mr. Mark Harmon. He was my Professor of Psychology at Reedley College. Ill never forget him.  AND YES i had a major crush on this man. He was smart. Handsome. And would take his time out to discuss anything and everything with you. We had a party once and he was invited. Heck ya thoughts of Mr. Mark Harmon coming over to chill out with us.. Sooo.... He came.  And ate dinner. And drank with us. It was awesome. I was just a girl who sat in his class and wanted to pick at his brain and thought this was the coolest thing ever to spend time with this man. All of us hung out on the back patio of a friends house. Our topic of conversation????? Sexuality. Homosexuality, and the meaning of being a gay or lesbian. What being a lipstick lesbian ment.  This man wasn't married.  And i sense he went both ways. It didn't even matter. This man captured thoughts inside me i never had in my life.

Astronaut Jones

One of my all time most favorite skits on Saturday Night Live!!!  The night i saw this i could not stop 

laughing.... i nearly peed my pants!! Tracy Morgan is one of the best comedians in my book.

Self Esteem Tips

• Read to build your brain 
• Exercise to build your body
• Mediate/Pray to build spirituality
• Make new friends-build social skills
• Eat Healthy
• Experience something new every day 
• Dont pity yourself
• Never stop looking for a challenge

The truth is

              

       you 

          never 

                deserved 

                      

                           me

The day we saw the President of the United States of America

On June. 17th, 2016 President Obama and his family arrived into the City of Atwater Ca. at Castle Air Force Base. That is where we saw Air Force 1 Land. It was a moment in history to witness the president and his family. They were planning a vacation stay for fathers day weekend at Yosemite National Park. I couldn't miss this opportunity for my family to observe this. Something they would never forget. When Air Force 1 Landed everyone observing was completely silent. Videoing and taking pictures. It was a moment to soak in. The look on my girls face was priceless. My niece was on top of my daughters shoulders and our youngest ones were working there way towards the fence to look threw. It was amazing to see them so excited.

                                      

Down below is a picture of Air Force 1. that my daughter took. :) (Good job baby girl!) From here the president and Malia emerged from the plane followed by Michelle Obama and Sasha. The two daughters headed quickly to Marine One helicopter while POTUS and FLOTUS chatted on the tarmac for a few minutes with greeters, US Representative Jim Costa, Chairwoman Claudia Gonzales, Chuckchansi tribe, Supervisor Hub Walsh, Merced County. To see the plane in person was amazing because the night before, me and my family googled the sections of the aircraft. Did you know the presidents suite includes sleeping quarters, shower with double sinks, and a gym? Pretty cool huh?1 A dining room that can supply 2000 meals. Medical facilities on board including blood supplies. Staff/secretarial quarters with 85 telephones and 19 TVs plus faxes. Flares that can be used to confuse enemy missiles. Those are just a few features of the plane. Pretty AMAZING!

Read more here: http://www.fresnobee.com/news/local/article84470592.html#storylink=cpy
Read more here: http://www.fresnobee.com/news/local/article84470592.html#storylink=cp

Air Force 1

My daughter took this picture. I'm very proud of her photography skills.

                                                            Air Force 1

This is me and my sister right after we saw Mr. Obama and his family. All Smiles!!! We were so happy to 

have experienced this and especially for our children. They will always remember there mommas made this happen for them! This will be in there history books later on... GREAT moment indeed! FYI... 

If your able to zoom in to this picture Air Force 1 is right behind that fence. We were really close!

Your mind is a powerful thing

Your subconscious is sending you powerful messages today, yet they may stem from old fears rather than from current events. Ironically, the more time you put into analyzing your memories, the more intense your feelings become. There's nothing to be gained by feeding your negative fantasies; instead of worrying about something that's well in your past, focus all your attention on what's happening now.