From here forward im going to be more positive and a better example.

Monterey CA

A beautiful day out in California :)

December 24 2016 Midnight Christmas

Christmas was ever so memorable this year. At the strike of midnight my aunt Valerie let all of us know there was 1 more special gift for all of us awaiting outside. She let us know that this surprise would be in memory of my dad and papa ( my grandpa ) We were all in suspense for almost 1 hour. She told us that this present would be outdoors and to put our beanies on and have our cameras ready. And it would make my mom tear up. We all wondered and guessed is it Santa coming on a sled? A new car? A trip to Italy? My dads ashes? Uncle rick surprising us? Gram?? All these questions and suspense were killing us. What felt like a hour was in reality 30 minutes. We all poured champagne and downed it into Christmas morning 12AM it was time to go outside. Here was our sweet sweet surprise....

We each got an individual lantern that once you light it you say a silent prayer or make a wish in remembrance of a loved one who has passed away. It was an amazing feeling of closure and bonding of love life and happiness all in one. Here are some pictures of the special moment we all shared together that night.

 I was able to say goodbye to my dad that night. A feeling of closure. 

I said my silent prayer, and let you drift off into the beautiful crisp sky. With thoughts of you.. how much love joy and heartache you brought me growing up leading into my adult years. I remembered the laughter and tears and your laugh your smile ohhh your contagious laugh that would make others laugh!! How much i miss your voice dad!! The times youd call me drunk off your ass.. leading up to that horrific morning call when Rena called to tell me you had just died a hour ago. With all those thoughts and memories i released you into the Cold crisp air. 

I love you pops. Forever in our hearts and i will find peace in memories of you.

The best highlight of 2016 was my grandma showing up at my doorstep after moving to Idaho. It was a surprise ill never forget! Missing her so much these days. She was my closest person to run too when i needed to escape and relax. Heres a few pictures of us!! :) I love her so much!!

Being Silly wearing my grams Hair piece lol

Hes just not that into you

Ladies, if you have to ask a man, So what are we? Or, Where is this relationship going? The answer is NOWHERE.  Men by nature are hunters and go for what they want. If he wanted you to be his wife, he would have proposed. If he wanted you to be his lady, he would of asked you. Men go hard for what they truly want. If he is not going hard for you, you are NOT what he wants.

Feels good to let out unwanted emotions and feelings

Now its time to be a savage;)